It took me a while to put my finger on it, to actual find the words to describe the feeling of meeting someone new. There's an enthusiasm and optimism that can be difficult to place, but I think what it comes down to is hope.
When you meet someone new, and there is some kind of connection, there is the flash of hope that this might be one of those rare gemstones of a person who might see you, who might understand you. And that is thrilling.
I feel like most of life is spent walking around partitioned; you have a work self and a family, maybe different versions of your self you share with different friend groups. But there are those special folks who see the whole person,the light and the dark, the silly and the serious, and can make one truly feel seen. Like, Seen, with a capital S.
And I believe that is one of the goals of life, one of the touchstones of a life well lived. I think we are all wandering around hoping to find someone who looks at us and says, "Yes, that is incongruent and confusing, but cool. Show me more." I read somewhere once that the point of falling in love and sharing your life with someone was to have someone to bear witness to your life, so that you could have that one shred of evidence that life was not being lived completely alone. Actually, it was in a movie and I'm trying to sound smart, but the point remains. That rings true like a thousand bulky church bells in my heart, and I don't think it's just romantic love that can give us that sense of being seen, of existing in a world with understanding rather than in the cold, indifferent vacuum of casual acquaintances and lost friends. We all want to be seen, have witness borne, have our trivial triumphs and minor disasters dissected by someone willing to take our side, see it from our perspective.
And that's the optimistic euphoria that bubbles up when you first meet someone and wonder, holy shit, is this someone who might actually be interested in my mundane existence?
