Wednesday, December 20, 2006

So, I have lately begun stalking my ex-boyfriend. Not for any really reason, mostly out of boy-boredom. He and I broke up when i was in High school and he was in college (how did I now see that cliche playing out, i know!) and i've never really had any interest in him since, but i gotta admit, just knowing he's someone that at one time in my life i didn't mind spending a couple of ours a day with makes him pretty attractive.
The majority of the population, of late, can abuse me socially for about 45 minutes before i start to fantasize about throwing them out the nearest window.

Many of you might not be professional stalkers, but my close friends and i are, so they'll knwo exactly what i mean when i say that, after spending fake time learning about fractions of his life, i start thinking stupid things. Like how we should hang out. And how it would be cool to catch up. And how he really wasn't that weird looking, nerdy, and obnoxiously asian-philic. And then i begin to wonder if maybe he's thinking about how much more awesome I've most likely gotten since we last talked, and thinking about how much hotter i am than him.

none of these thoughts lead anywhere other than the highway to stalker town. Where increasingly weirder thoughts begin to brew.

which is why i need a new hobby. And not crocheting. That has never held my attention for longer than a week. Maybe a hearty Ritalin habit. Or i could start working part time as one of the crazy fuckers who begs for money drunk. that would incorporate some of my pre-existing hobbies, like drinking and being loud.
hrm.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

boy-dom. look at us, coining new phrases everyday.

dude, i looked up El Pube's myspace profile yesterday. i was even late to get to an appointment, and i made myself late by looking up his shit. he is now "straight" again...and "in a relationship"...he is also part of the "older women for younger men" group. for one, the in a relationship thing has to be bullshit because he is GROSS...unless its a blind cripple? or she has a mental disability? maybe shes a drug user? maybe she is a he? i dont know about the straight thing either. personally, i liked him better when he was gay.

Anonymous said...

and look us me, with the shit grammar...

Anonymous said...

AT me.

F.

whiskey jane said...

dude, F grammer.
obviously, the woman is wealthy with detached retinas and in her 80's. 'It' is her stud and she mostly uses it to do chores around the house and occasionally rub polly-dent on her gums.

ew.