Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Because I’m me.

Because I’m me, I waiting until the very last minute to go to the bathroom after drinking a diet coke and three glasses of water.
Because I’m me, when I got to the bathroom and saw the little tiny baby lizard, whose cousins have been making me smile all week, I tried to chase him out, afraid that he would either die trapped in the barren landscape of a semi-public restroom.
It’s not my fault that the little tiny baby lizard was stupid, ran into a corner, and accidentally got caught by me. I wasn’t trying to catch him, just corral him into the out doors, where he would be happy.
But, because I’m me, as soon as I realized I could pick him up, I did. And because I’m me, as soon as I picked him up I wanted to hold him, and considered keeping him as a pet.
Settling for the middle ground, I took the little tiny baby lizard back to my office, and tried to photograph him on my hand, which was difficult because the little tiny baby lizard moved further and further up my arm with every jarring sound or movement, of which there were many. Because I’m me.
After getting a couple of good pictures, I went to take the little tiny baby lizard back outside and set him free.
Because I’m me, I was more focused on the little tiny baby lizard’s feelings than I was on the presence of real live human people around me.
Because I’m me, I naturally forgot I was wearing the fitted skirt of the pseudo-professional, and squatted like a woman giving birth in the jungle.
Because I’m me, I didn’t notice until the little tiny baby lizard had moved to the relative safety of the near by tree that I was giving a full-on, clear view crotch shot to a pair of middle-aged women a few yards from me.
Because I’m me, and I couldn’t think of a demure escape, I simply walked back to the restroom and resumed my business. But, because I’m me, I still think I’m the reason they disapeared before I returned from the restroom.

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