I have two amazing cousins. Actually, I have *several* amazing cousins. Really lovely people.
One of these lovely humans is now in her first year at Harvard Law School. Seriously, how rad is that?
She is a sweet, funny, and obviously hardworking and extremely bright young woman in her twenties. Already some douche nozzle has called her a 'girl', as in "You girls better be ready to work hard! I don't go to school here, but it's hard!" Already she is second guessing herself and worried about raising her hand, while those who haven't done the readings are happy to give incorrect responses with vigor. She's got a long fight ahead of her, because law school is hard, and I'm sure Harvard is hard, but being female (and from a middle class family) in a less traditional field is really hard.
So, I want to take a minute and type out all the things I wish someone had said to me when I was starting out in grad school, terrified and certain I didn't belong.
First, you are in the right place. You belong here, you earned your place here. There's this thing called an admissions process that determines who belongs, and you went through it, the same as everyone else around you. You all passed, and now you are all here. That's it. Starting from the first day, you are all on equal footing, in that you are all qualified to be admitted to your program. Do your best to stop wasting mental energy overthinking it. You belong.
Second, find some people! It is going to be hard, and everyone will freak out at the first few (hundred) assignments. Being with a group of other people with whom you can admit how little you understand, or ask questions of, or be the person who has the answer with is going to be invaluable. And I promise, all of those things will happen at some point, no matter who you group up with. But find some folks and form a study group. Or two...or four. I had a study group of about five folks, and one person there was in two others, and would share the information from each group with all of us. You can do things alone, but it is so much harder, and so much more isolating. Get groups, get help, and get confirmation that you aren't the only one struggling!
And speaking of struggling, because you will, do your best to not feel dejected every time you do struggle. You are doing something very difficult, that only a small portion of people ever even attempt. Give yourself the space to struggle, to be challenged, and for that to be okay. You went through a lengthy process to literally prove you were good enough to be there, and the illustrious university's People Who Decide picked you. You belong, and you are right where you are supposed to be. If it was easy, everyone would do it.
Since it's not easy, make sure you ask for help. There is always help; clinics, boot camps, T.A.s , advisors, office hours, the notes of friends, dear sweet lovely google, study groups, people who've gone before. Ask and accept all the help you need, please. That's self care, that's efficient, and that's economical! You want to take advantage of everything that can help you succeed, honey, because every little bit helps and you are paying for the privilege of it all. So ask, seek, find help when you need it! It's not weakness, it's intelligence!
Try to trust yourself, trust your instincts. Part of what you are doing is being trained to be a confident decision maker. Don't let other people steal or borrow your power, just hold yourself centered and still, and try to let the crazy that may unfold flow around you, like wild ocean waters around a calm stone. And take excellent care of yourself. Because, girl, you got this.
And when all else fails, call home, because we have got you. <3 br="">
No comments:
Post a Comment